- Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
- There's no menu. You get what you deserve.

- What does a house wear?
- Address!

- What kind of shorts do clouds wear?
- Thunderpants

- Do you want to hear a construction joke?
- Sorry, I'm still working on it.

- Why should you never trust stairs?
- They're always up to something.

- Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on the moon?
- It had great food, but no atmosphere.

Why skelethon doesn't go to the park?
- Because he has nobody to go with.

What do you call a thousand lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
- A good start

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning."
[Rich Cook]

Saying that Java is good because it works on all platforms is like saying anal sex is good because it works on all genders.

Programming is like sex:
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

If you don't make backups, you probably will.

The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.

If you want REAL hardware acceleration you can get a good 9.81 m/s^2 by releasing the mass of the laptop from a significant height.

#define TRUE FALSE
// Happy debugging suckers

Who needs quality when you have marketing?